Saul Benjamin - Age 3

This is it, our last baby to age into the dreaded third year. I’m trying to see this as a light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel situation and less like the heart palpitating, why-me scenario. It’s no secret that I hold the age of 3 as solid grounds for not having more children. Clearly, I’m terrible at holding grounds… Any who, we will get through this, this too shall pass, Jesus will take wheel, all those things.

Also, this is a bit of a new lead up to three, because you have turned three before your sister has turned 4… your sister whom you believe walks on water and you have few goals in life beyond doing everything that she does, when she does it, how she does it! Therefore, you have “followed” your way into 3-tendencies before it was necessary. I am going to hope all the hopes that you will follow your way right into 4-tendencies faster than the average bear! This birthday has been the first one that are super aware of. You went to bed last night flying high because “when [you] waked up [you] will be THREE!” You were the first one to sing yourself “Happy Birthday” and though I missed it on the monitor I can imagine your sweet little voice singing its happiest heart song! You are such a joy boy. Smiling is truly your favorite, every day and always! This just so happens to be my favorite Sully trait. You shine your brightest when perched at the top of a shopping cart! Today when I asked you what you wanted to do for your birthday, your first response was, “I go to Aldi!”

Good night, child, you are the self-appointed mayor of Aldi. Aldi is your mecca. Those aisles give you life and produce and chicken nuggets. You greet every unsuspecting fellow patron and employee. Your favorite lines are: “What’s your name?” “What you got in there?” “Why you got that?” or even when they enter checkout lanes with fewer items than you deem adequate, you will spend considerable time and energies trying to convince them “You not done! Go back! Get lots of things like us. We have lots! You need lots too!” We walked into Aldi this morning and found two of your favorite cashiers, whom you know by name, and they you! I cannot be more clear, you LOVE ALDI and its people! We found Lissa and Stephen and you were sufficiently fawned over, celebrated and high-fived! Everyone got a big laugh out of your chosen birthday experience. Again, you brought the JOY! We left Aldi but you were not done shopping and so we headed to Walmart (where I actually had a list of needs). One of those needs brought us to pharmacy where you charmed the socks off the cashier who could not get enough of your sweet little voice and facial expressions. You left the pharmacy with stickers and a grape flavored blow-pop. JOY!

After Walmart we picked up Rosie from school and she joined us for a picnic lunch at a park. Aldi, candy, take-out, alfresco lunching, parks, and a “peach” (peach = beach = sand volleyball court) you were losing your mind before noon! JOY!

Capped the day with a restaurant dinner and the long awaited birthday cake at home. You are a dream baby and so easily pleased.

Thank you for being our baby. Thank you for threeing well, so far! Thank you for being my shopping buddy and opening all the produce bags for me. You have brought such joy to our family and we love you times infinity. Sully B. Kunz you are terrific and this world needs your smiles… Just keep smiling, sweet boy!

Mary Alice - Age 13

I have been actively avoiding writing this birthday “letter” because… well… I don’t want to. This is not real life. You are not really a real teenager. I am not old enough to have teenager. So maybe if I don’t write about it, it won’t be real. Truth-be-told, I am fully capable of living my life within these parameters of faux-realism. Your dad, on the other hand, is not… and threatened to write this himself. That’s a hard pass. [cf. though he remains my editor] I am, and always will be the leader of this written tomfoolery! 

Teenager, it’s not that I’m afraid of you being a teenager. On the contrary, I have lived a life of anticipation for these days full of angst and sass, shenanigans and blindsidey feelings, everything running at maximum power, but with little to no forethoughts or goals. Think chicken with no head… ahhhh, I plan on living fully present in every emotionally-charged moment, at the ready with a sarcastic, well-timed mic-drop comment. I. Have. BEEN. Here. For. It!!

Admittedly, this seems in opposition to my aforementioned avoidance of teenage realities. You see, the avoidance has little to do with you. The issues are mine and they are complex and they make me older than I feel. So I guess this is me shoving said complexities into the deep, dark hole they belong in. There is a strong chance your dad would say this is an unhealthy coping mechanism (psychology… ugh) but… there is also a chance he is wrong, so… I leave it to you, young grasshopper, to decide. 

I will say that you have pre-teened like a marvel. You are doing this maturing thing too well. I fear my dreams of high-voltage teenage-angst will have to wait for forthcoming siblings. This is not for lack of trying on your part. I can see you trying to cave to those overwhelming feelings—trying to drum them up, and every once in a while you succeed! But alas, those moments are few and my dreams feel dashed (but hope is never dead!). Mary Alice, you are just too good, too wonderful, too together, with-it, but more importantly, too silly to care for all the nonsense that is stereotypically “teenager.” I’m impressed!

Your goal has never appeared to be The. Best. at (insert sport, instrument, activity, etc.)… sometimes it seems there is not a single competitive bone in your body (at least not at someone else’s expense, or unless you are dealing with Silas, but I digress). At times, this has (at worst) infuriated me, and (at best) confounded me. However, when I stop to contemplate the “why”—to unearth your motives (because at this point you have got to have reasons for these behaviors), it seems you are just too great to be “worldly-great.” Yep, you will likely never “go pro” but that is not because you can’t… its because “being THE best” is not you “being YOUR best.” It simply is not your #goals. I LOVE THIS ABOUT YOU! You know who you are and I get the sense you really like you, and that is LOVELY. You are THE BEST HUMAN! Your whole life, you have cared more about those around you than you have yourself. When you were little and we would have people over, or we would be preparing dinner to take someone, we would ask you (and Silas), “What’s your job when [they] get here?” or “Why are we making this treat for [them]?” and your response was always, “To make [them] feel special and important!” Girlfriend, you need a t-shirt that reads this, because it has become your greatest of lived-out-mantras. Though it must be said, at times, this has allowed people to “walk on you” a bit. This breaks our parent-hearts, but it is our job to help you balance others and you. BOTH are important! Brace yourself, I get the idea this paradigm will take a lifetime of learning. 

Alright, barf… let’s press on to lighter, yet related notes. (Yes, I made notes for this written word! Ugh, I don’t even recognize myself anymore). Your second greatest mantra would have to be “the more the merrier.” You are the friendiest-friend, fluent in peopling, the very definition of an extrovert, a life lived by “the more the merrier!” Friendship is one of your superpowers and this is LOVELY!

You, using your precious little time between commitments to make a birthday treat for your classmates.
You are so good to those you care about. 

You are a matriarch in the making. You make it a point to really know people, and typically you use that knowledge for good… only occasionally for evil (like knowing the buttons to push with your brother to get the exact reaction you desire… or hugging me too long… evoking commentary that includes terms like “arch nemesis.”

Pausing your baking to be interested in whatever nonsense
your baby sister is explaining.

But for true, you are one of my most favorite people. You are a profound mix of some of the best dichotomies! You are so smart, a sage beyond your years! Also you are the most nonsensical human who makes handwritten inventories/schedules for your clothing. (I just threw up in my mouth). You want to discuss big things going on in our world, and also… you say some of the funniest garbage, “Sometimes I just sit and stare until I’m truly bored of myself… which happens faster than one would think.” What 13 y/o speaks like this!?… one named Mary Alice.

Speaking of hope not being dead, you are at least trying out the sass… your stunted progress likely steams from the fact that you’re trying out sass on a master-class sassafras—go with God, my child, this battle you will not win… but we will have fun while you try! I will say, though, your eye-roll is on point! I salute you.

You were loving me taking pictures of your kindness...

My dear, you are already teenaging better than most veteran teenagers I’ve encountered. As a former high school teacher, that is saying A LOT. Keep up the hard work! You are perfection! You are brave, kind, brilliant, silly, capable, teachable, a delight, the shiniest shine, and an absolute joy! Mary Alice Kunz, you are BEAUTY, LOVELY BEAUTY! 

We do not deserve you! We hit the kid jackpot with you! Happy Birthday, my sweet honey girl!